Lingering

Originally written on November 10, 2011. 

everyone slowly left
it seemed to be their time
guess it wasn't mine
i'm still here
lingering
waiting for something
she was still here too
there were glances
silent communication
maybe avoidances
not wanting to go where we're going
you can't avoid the inevitable
she's at the door
and it's my time
grab my coat
draped over my left arm
i head nervously
silly to be nervous
palms are sweaty
skin feels flushed
i must be a sight
to myself
i notice she's leaving too
i help with her coat
almost drop it
clumsy of me ... "sorry"
no eye contact
"thank you"
we exit and realize it's raining
we pause under the eaves
then it happens
"you look good"
"so do you"
then the eye contact
some things can't be hidden
maybe that's why the avoidance
it's so obvious
were others to see
they would know too
not another word is said
it's not needed
we're out of the rain
under the eaves
watching the drops linger then fall
one after the other
with their own rhythm
in slow motion
there's a knowing
we're still here
have been for years
everyone has long since gone
we'll go back inside
as we always do
waiting for something
this time our hands touch
we catch each other’s eyes
we do know
we're spirits lingering
where our hearts want to be
time to go in
i help her remove her coat
hang it on the tarnished brass hook
water disappearing in drips on the floor
i drape mine over a distant chair
we take our positions
i want to look in her eyes forever
embrace the unspoken
but i can't
we have guests coming
the rest of us will arrive soon
and we need to behave