Carousel

Originally written on November 6, 2009.

the music played on
as a carnival ride should
same old song
slightly out of tune
over and over and over
then it occurs to me
how did i get here
why am i here
where is here
why the mystery at all
the merry go round
is turning and turning
all in slow motion
even the music is slowed
sitting on the horse
going up and down
and round and round
gilt with colors so bright
my arms splayed wide
holding onto the reins
my head thrown back
laughter blasting from my throat
the sound of a three year old
effervescing with glee
i don't want it to end
round and round
up and down
may never stop ever
am i passing the world
or is it passing me by
waiting for me to rejoin it
suddenly the horse stops
along with the ride
seizing in time
i lose my grip and fly
off the carousel
splashing my back to the ground
all has come to a stop
feeling a bit of whiplash
reins still in my hand
that gave me no control
over my destination
just a spectator
in my own life
lit up on the big screen
in spectra-color
surround sound
no microwaved popcorn
no comfy chair
when did i lose control
or did i just relinquish it
there is no more
slow motion music
need to pick myself up
get back up
this time i need to walk
leave the ride alone
no more neon lights
flashing in the dark
the park is closed now
it is time to leave