Originally written on April 18, 2011.
It
startled me at first
Forgot
they were there
Looking
down on me
Watching
Judging
Scrutinizing
Then
I felt them
A
million eyes
From
the beyond
Piercing
into my soul
What
will I do this time
How
will I do it
Can
I stay strong
Or
will I falter
I’m
already broken
Battered
to a pulp
Invisible
scars all
Cutting
me deep
Into
the other deep cuts
That
never healed
The
battle rages on
There
is no time to rest
It’s
easy to lose track of them
Forget
they ever existed
They
are there
Good
times and bad
Witness
to my legacy
Of
those who bore me
To
here
Can
I carry them
Ancestors
of my ancestors
Calling
on the debt
Of
my survival
Their
help is already in me
My
father and my mother
Their
brothers and their sisters
Their
fathers and their mothers
Deep
into the days of yesterday
A
million eyes deep into today
Into
me
This
battle is fierce
Taking
all that I have
And
then extracting even more
I
stand tall
Look
deep into my soul
Uncovering
the reserve chute
Ready
when needed
I’m
plummeting
Reaching
for the rip cord
But
I won’t pull it
My
burden is heavy
I
want it to end
I
carry on for my son
My
daughter and for you
For
my ancestors
More
than watchers
More
than in my DNA
Releasing
in the beginning
Catching
in the end
Carrying
in the middle
Breathing
life into my lungs
There
was no deal
No
debt to be paid
No
judgment
No
right nor wrong
I’m
still falling
Grasping
at the thin air
Life
is for the living
I’m
still alive
My
legacy is strong
It
is deep in me
Deep
in all who touched me
In
all those I touched
When
on solid ground
I
will stand tall
Shoulders
strong
Helping
when it is my turn
Adding
my two hands
To
the million hands
Softening
my landing
As
I am carried on
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