Chess is such a great game. I've played since I was first introduced to it in the 2nd grade. They were having this open house thing at my elementary school, Lincoln Elementary in Chicago, and one of the classrooms had these chess games set up. I was intrigued with the pieces, the sculptured elements and their designations. Eventually a teacher showed me the basics of how to play, then proceeded to beat me in only a few moves. This happened several times in a row. Each time the process took a little more time, but the number of moves and the outcome was the same, me losing that game.
Eventually, there was a long pause before I would make a move. I began to assess the entirety of the board. It wasn't just about this piece or that piece, but how they all interacted with each other. My pieces into his and his pieces into mine. I didn't beat the teacher on that day, but the game became longer and the action more engaging. From that point on I was hooked, as I did not like the idea of losing so easily, or at all actually. I studied the game and developed my own style of winning at this great, very old game.
It wasn't too many weeks later when I actually did win against him. He didn't let me win either. I had to do it. We were both surprised. Yet there was no defeat for either of us. We both won, though we did it in different ways. Even when I was losing, I was winning. As a teacher, he saw me develop into a thinking chess player, and rather quickly at that. I won because I learned the art of strategy and tactics and feints, in the end recognizing how all the pieces together helped to achieve victory.
I played chess, in a way, the same that I live. As I said, I developed my own style of how to play. I didn't employ fancy named openings or moves or Kasparov tactics. I stood back to see the whole board, understand where each part was. My mind functions very visually and, when I stand back, I can see the board and play from my visual cues. It made sense to me how the pawn interacted with the rook, the queen, the knight and king. Success required that we all worked together. Life requires that we all know how to work together too.
In the game of chess, or backgammon, or racquetball, I can be ruthless and give everything I have to win, because there is no real harm to anyone, it's just a game. I'm okay losing as long as I know I gave it my best. In life, I'm incapable of being ruthless with others, but I give it everything I have. In business I can be tactically ruthless, again no one gets hurt. In life though, we don't use others as pawns to achieve our hidden agenda. People aren't game pieces on a board that we play for our own amusement. I know of some who do this with ease and I don't understand how they do it. They lose out on the ultimate gift that life has to give us ... a consistent genuine smile that is filled with love from someone who truly cares about who you are. This happens because the giving is unconditional, in both directions.
My life has been lived in many ways like that first day I was introduced to chess, a long time ago. I don't give up. I study and learn from everything. Good things and bad things. I've developed my own unique style of being me. Regardless the challenges or how many get thrown at me, I do not give up. Right now, I'm having an overdose of not good things happening. Yet I don't know how to quit. I get knocked down, I do think of giving up, but I keep getting back up. This is with everything about me. I live unconditionally. I parent unconditionally. I give unconditionally. I friend unconditionally. I love unconditionally. And I don't know how to just quit being that way.
I titled this piece "It's your move." when in reality ... it's always been "my move."
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