That Last Spike

Originally written on November 6, 2013.

When that first spike struck

I almost died

It was a long time ago

But it did happen

A part of me

Not all of me

Did die

I don’t know which part

It’s been so long

I don’t even remember it

That event

There was no flash of light

No final extended beeeep

It put me in a coma

A deep sleep of awake

Going through the motions

Void of emotions

On autopilot

An instinctive autonomic

There were moments

Precious ones

Where I thought I was coming back

A joyous resurrection

But another spike drove deep

Sending me back

Then another

And another still

Rapid fire

I was numb

In disbelief

Taking it all

As they kept coming

One after another

Each striking deeper than the last

I stood there

Senseless

Pulling each one out

Watching more and more of me

Drain away

But I continued on

Instinctively being who I believed I was

Finding the strength

To continue on

Then it struck again

That last spike

It was different

I felt it

Dropping me to my knees

All fours

Grimacing

Screaming as I pulled it out

Watching it fall to the ground

Clinking against the other spikes

Some covered in rust

Others still dripping

In blood

Raising myself to the heavens

“ENOUGH!”

“No more …”

Lifting myself off my knees

Head bowed over

Looking at my hands

As they receive an old friend

My tired spirit

I bring it close to me

Returning it to my soul

I’ll protect me

All of me

I look around

The sun is breaking

Beams through the clouds

What doesn’t kill you

Will make you strong

I am who I am

But I have changed

It was that last spike

That one

I felt it

Maybe

It woke me up